I used to go out with this indian guy who was 5 years younger than me ( the moment I found out about this fact I lost my interest, I know how immaturity can harm, that was my second mistake when I decided to ignore that and keep going out with him. the first one was that I did not like him in the first place, he was too short I thought, but just because since my friend got back to iran, and I stop going out and meeting people, and well feeling a little bit lonely, I decided to see him again.)

He used to call me everyday and it was like he was to keep talking and talking though we had nothing further to say. It was the third thing I did not like about him.

Then I realized when we were out (and I had to to keep telling him �I have no free time in weekdays� to keep it on weekends only which was a tiring process for everyday) he used to pass the red signals.
If there is one thing about pune city people that I don't like that would be their driving. They ignore the red signals and almost never use the blink, it happens frequently that someone turn left or right before you without any warning.

When I found out he lies about almost every small thing, and also wants to control me (hello! If you ask me about ONE THING that could freak me out that would be this) I decided to dump him.

I told him by phone that I�m gonna stop seeing him, but he ask me to walk with him once aagain that evening, cause he wanted to talk to me before in ends. I decided to go specially because he seemed very sad and I did not want to hurt him at all, so I thought that would be more faire if I break up with him that way and explain my reasons better (though I knew he was going to try to explain himself as something that he was not, and when I met him I realized I was right, and lots of energy and time was wasted this way while I had exam in next few days.)

The day after that when I got back home and I found out he had been there asking my neighbors where was my flat, I thought like I couldn�t get more angry.
But I was wrong.

Almost one week later he mailed me, saying how sorry he was and how he respected me and liked me a lot and he hoped that I could give him another chance.

As I am myself a �mistaking a lot� and �changing myself� person, I decided to give him that chance.
But I mentioned that I could not accept a guy who passes the red signal when I�m with him especially, and has such a vast free time that even gets board at work and expect me to fill it up for him (why they always are SO BUSY or SO STICKY? Well, I know the first group is �not just that into you� but is there any body in the middle somewhere near me? Why all my relationships are of this or that type?... I know, there is something I sould learn.. well then perhaps I�m too dull other wise 15 years is passed from my first date and still�HELP!)

In his reply, I did not see any desire to change that habits, the only thing was clear was about what he wanted, but nothing about alterations.
He just promised he�ll call me more rare, but he had given that promise before and �had forgotten� few days later.


Some weeks later, on a Sunday morning when I went for a walk, near the first place we had met I saw him again. He came along and said hi. I answered coldly.
When I told him that I was not going to change my mind, he started shouting at me. Well, you have no idea but I am a little bit good at shut people up , and that day he had this chance to find out about this talent of mine a little bit.

I�m sorry, am I talking too much? Cause I don�t think this is gonna end in next paragraph either. But hey, why don�t you make some coffee and then get back read the rest of it? Or watch a movie or something and then come back or just do something else and forget about my dating problems but I�m going to finish it anyway.

The next day he mailed again, saying how hurt he was and how could I reject him that way. Wasn�t he a human being? Did I think he had no feelings? Why I was so childish and so on. It was a long email and I did not read it all.
I answered him just to warn he should not talk to me or come to my door again, and then I spamed him.

Today again I had an email from him, in my other mail box which I put on my orcut. Saying he�s gonna �informe� me when ever he�ll be in pune cause he thinks I�d be happy (!) I was thinking, was there any chance that I could possibly be more clear?

Now, I feel bad because I hate to hate people and being disturbed this way makes me feel bad about people I don�t even know just because they look like this idiot. and though I�m not afraid of him I�m feeling unsecured and I hate that.. I don�t like to be embarrassed just because a sick person thinks he can shout at me in the streets because I don�t want to go out with him! I don�t want to be told by my neighbor some one�s trying to find out where I�m staying! This is crossing the line, and I hate my lines to be crossed.

See? How many times I said �hate�? I feel like I�m poisoned. I did not want to censor myself so I did not eliminate them. After all this is what blog�s for, ain�t it?

Why did I think that would be wise to not to listen to my heart from the very first place? Why did I let myself think I may have no opportunity to go out with someone I really like (well it may never happen that�s true, but how could I let myself think a bad chose is better than nothing?) and that�d be better if I content?
Did I know not that when you like a man you can handle the situation better? Since when I decided I have to be modest about my love life?.. It�s not me. Never again.. cross my heart.

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What exactly this bastard is doing in Geneva?

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Mandana is a friend of mine, we knew each other through our blogs. Today, seeing this briliant idea of her makes me so proud of being a friend of her and an iranian woman.
Mandana, created frucall, the idea of mobile shopping and also designed this page.
Isn't that wonderfull?