Since I�m in India people ask me; �so, do you go to the river to wash your cloths or what?� which makes me laugh always, of course if you think about it, it�s a very hard thing to do, not funny at all. I see some times women washing cloths in the famous Indian way which is by striking it to a rock or block frequently, and it makes me think that at least the iranin way is much easier, if you have no other way but go to the river for that.
But this question always reminds me of something else, which is related to why I didn�t get a washing machine until two months ago.

The first days I came to pune, I couldn�t find a place to stay; there was no flat available in that time of year so I should wait.
It was a hard time for me.

An agency at last found me a place in a banglor, that is a kind of house that originally was a big single house, distributed to small ones, and each is given to a tenant.

I didn�t like it, but that was much better than the room I was staying in, at least I could cook for myself and watch tv , forget about the loneliness I was feeling.

The landlady seemed a little bossy to me at first look. she did not accept to sign an agreement with me, saying to the agency guy �no body ever asked me that!� meaning how dare you to say you won�t trust me?

I agreed anyway, I had no choice, and she seemed to be a good woman. bossy but honest. Her husband was in another town I found out later, and she was feeling lonely too. Gradually we get closer, she was a kind woman, a little austere but kind.
We used to hang out and shop together, and she taught me how to argue about the suggested prices, since they were not the real prices in her opinion.

After a while she started comparing herself with me; why I�m doing science and she is a house wife ( I was starting to study after a ten years interval, and my english was poor, making it much harder. she should actually feel sad for me on this point) why I�m abroad without my family and she�s never been, and things like that. By the time passing, we were not as friendly as the past anymore, and my efforts to overlook and be nice did not work.

In that house the door was not complete, that kind of doors which is used for open places, half was closed and the other half almost open, which gave me a joyful time in December shivering till the morning. But the major problem was the landlady, who when realized I was paying the house keeper girl more than others, told me I had to increase the rent. And when I tried to remind her that it�s only five months that I was there, she started coming behind my door talking about me with the woman next to my room aloud saying I must shift the house if this and that.

Because of the semi-open door it was like she was inside, shouting. It was freaking me out in a bad way. I couldn�t study at all that month, not just because of her voice but she made me feel insecure and nervous doing that.
I knew I was not going to stay there for a long time, something was telling me she was going to talk to me about it soon.
Fortunately I found a place before she kicked me out, a girl who I met in pune �who now is one my best friends- found it, and I started to take my things slowly, waiting for the moment she decided to tell me to go.

That was the time I realized how lucky I was having few things to move. That�s why I was afraid of getting a washing machine and I didn�t until I felt like I�m in a bigger trouble anyway. washing clothes by hand is not easy at all. And it definitely won�t let you to keep your hands soft, in the way they were before.

She came to my door at last one day, told me to go to her house because she needed to talk to me.
The other neighbor was there, I could tell she was waiting to see an entertaining show. I let her to start, calm and cheerful, pretending I have absolutely no idea what I�m gonna hear.

She said �so, do you have a place to go back to?� Go back? Was I in a vacation till now that I was suppose to go back from? �what do you mean, go back?� I said.
She said �I mean you had a room in � before coming here, didn�t you? Because I think you need to go back there.�

I said �oh, hehe.. I don�t think so, I hate that room. I�m not going back there.� Before she opened her mouth to say but you can�t stay here either I said �but I found a better house with a full covering, standard door which doesn�t get wet up to the roof when a little rain comes, and I�m shifting there..�

I wish you could see their faces. Both were looking like sugar free ice creams in a stormy day, you didn�t want to have a bite.

The day after that my friend came for helping me to move. I didn�t let her to touch anything, I just needed someone to talk and laugh with. Partially to make the lady frustrated. But I guess there was no need of that; now not only she didn�t get the extra rent but instead she should give me back my deposit, and that wasn�t a good time to find a new tenant too. Plus she couldn�t get the joy making me begging her, so she was even more furious. That was easy to tell, seeing her walking fast shouting at every one and snap the doors sharply.

Although I wasn�t feeling better either. We were laughing all the time seeing all these but inside me something else was going on; I was never kicked out before.

Ps: I will, finish my memories of vipassana, I can tell from my counter that most readers follow it.
I just need some free time and concentration. Sorry about the retardation.




painting: Shivaji Markets ; oil on canvas; 75 x 50 cm; august 2006.